The Bull Rider's Baby Bombshell Page 14

  “Okay, I’ll go with you.” Wes reached in his pocket for his phone realizing he’d left it in his cabin. “Let me borrow your phone so I can change my flight.”

  “What? No.” Jade shook her head and walked away from him, checking each of the chafing dish burners. “You need to go home.”

  “I want to be there when you tell her about us.”

  Jade shushed him and tugged him to the corner of the tent away from the servers. “I’m not going to ambush my sister by telling her I know you’re the girls’ father, or that we’ve been playing house while...”

  “While what? Falling for each other? After that kiss, you can’t deny there’s something between us.”

  “I can’t devastate my sister like that. I don’t want her to feel like it’s two against one, especially when the two are her daughters’ biological parents. I refuse to put her through any unnecessary hell. You need to get on that plane today, and return to your normal routine. Once things settle down, I will talk to her about allowing you to have a relationship with the girls. But this thing between you and me—” Jade swiped at a lone tear rolling down her cheek “—was temporary. We both knew that.”

  Wes wanted to argue. He wanted to tell her they still had each other, but he knew any involvement with Jade would be a constant reminder of their daughters. He didn’t fit into their lives. He was never meant to. He didn’t know how to walk away, either.

  “Saying goodbye is harder than I thought it would be.” He lifted her chin to him. “At least let me come back to the house with you to see the girls one last time.” A tightness grew in his chest. “Please give me that much.”

  “What about the reception?” Jade peered around him. “They’re headed this way now. This will be over in an hour, maybe two. A lot of people are traveling home today. You need to be here for your family.”

  “I need to say goodbye to my daughters,” Wes demanded.

  “Shh.” Jade swatted him. “Keep your voice down.”

  “You involved me in their lives and as much as I fought against it, they grabbed hold of my heart. I refuse to leave here without saying goodbye, with or without you.”

  “Okay.” Jade rested her hand on his chest. “I’m not trying to hurt you. I thought I would spare you the pain, but I understand your need to see them. Meet me at the cabin. I need to tell Delta and Garrett I’m leaving.”

  “Tell them I’ll be back in a few.” Wes stormed out the tent’s back flap. He wanted time to say goodbye to the girls...alone. He jerked off his tie as he half walked, half ran to his truck. Safely in the confines of the cab, he smacked the steering wheel. Hard. He didn’t know how to do this.

  Within minutes he parked beside the cabin. Tugging his wallet from the pocket of his jeans, he removed a couple hundred-dollar bills. He had no idea if Jade had promised Megan and Alyssa more or less, but this would have to do for now. He needed them to leave.

  He hopped down from the truck and took the porch stairs two at a time, startling the teens when he opened the screen door. “There’s been a little change of plans.” Wes held out a folded bill to each of them, his eyes settling on the three cherub faces happily rocking in their chairs. “I will settle up with you later if you’re owed any more than that.”

  “Are you sure?” Megan asked. “We’re supposed to stay until the wedding is over.”

  “I’m sure. In fact, why don’t you go down to the reception and have breakfast with everyone else. Jade’s on her way here, so I have it covered.”

  Wes tried to stop fidgeting as he waited for the teens to gather their overnight bags and leave. He only had a few minutes left to spend with the girls. He closed the front door behind them and sat cross-legged on the floor in front of his daughters. Unable to hold back his tears any longer, he lifted Hadley into his arms and cradled her against his chest.

  “What have you done to me, little one?” He kissed the top of her head, inhaling her familiar baby scent. “I never meant to fall in love with you, but I couldn’t help myself.” He brushed the back of his fingers against Mackenzie’s cheek as her big sparkling blue eyes met his. “I have to go away for a little while, but I’ll be back in August. I don’t know if you’ll still be here or not, so I have to say goodbye now.” Wes heaved a sob. “Oh God, how do I do this? You three will always be a part of me. And I will always watch over you. I promise. You won’t know it, but I’ll be there. You are my three little gifts from heaven and I will love you forever.”

  Wes heard the sound of a car door outside the living room window. It wasn’t enough time. He wanted more. He needed more. He settled Hadley back in her chair. “You’re going to see your mommy today. And she loves you more than life itself.” He leaned forward and kissed Audra on the head. “You’ll grow up and rule the world. You can be whoever you want to be.” Wes wiped at his eyes. “I love you, now and forever.”

  The front door opened behind him. How could his time be over already? It wasn’t fair. He kissed Mackenzie on the forehead and rose, his back to Jade. “Will you call me later and tell me what happened with Liv?”

  “Of course,” she said softly. “And you can call me whenever you want.”

  “Yeah, not like that won’t be too difficult.” Wes reached for his phone to take a picture of them, but he realized he must have left it in his cabin and cursed. “I never got to take one photo of them. Not one. I have nothing to take with me.”

  “I’ll send you all the photos you want.” Jade’s voice broke.

  “No.” He shook his head, incapable of saying anything more. He closed his eyes and turned away from the girls, his heart shattering into a million pieces. He forced himself to walk to the door, unable to look back. “Goodbye, Jade.”

  Wes stepped onto the porch, forever a changed man. A broken man. All the things he’d thought meant something in his life were inconsequential compared to the love for a child...and a woman. His life would never be the same.

  * * *

  A COUNSELOR NAMED Millie carried Audra’s car seat down the hall of the postpartum depression treatment center as Jade followed with Hadley and Mackenzie. “This is where most of Liv’s initial reacclimation to her daughters will occur.” Millie opened the door to a casual living room–type area and held it for Jade to enter. “The visits will increase, and at some point the children will join Liv here at the center so she can learn how to balance her emotions while caring for them.”

  “Wait, what? I haven’t agreed to overnight visits here.” Jade set Hadley’s and Mackenzie’s car seats on the beige carpeted floor. The place may resemble a warm and cozy guest lodge from the outside, but the fact remained it was a treatment facility and she did not feel comfortable leaving the children in a place where women didn’t have complete control of their emotions. “I have guardianship and that’s not going to happen unless I say so.”

  Millie’s brows arched as she lowered Audra’s car seat next to her sisters. “It’s part of her treatment plan. Don’t you want your sister to improve?”

  “I find that question rather insulting.” Jade folded her arms across her chest, annoyed she was put on the defensive so soon after arriving. “Of course I want my sister to get better, but unless I’m a hundred percent comfortable with the girls’ safety here, they will not stay overnight. Honestly, I find this conversation premature. I haven’t even spoken with my sister or her physician yet. I didn’t even know where she was until this morning.”

  Millie calmly clasped her hands in front of her. “I apologize. I was not aware of that. Dr. Stewart will be in shortly to speak with you. Until then, do you have any questions?”

  Only a million. “How is my sister?”

  “Olivia is relaxed and learning new coping skills. Her situation is more unique than most of our patients because her children aren’t biologically hers.”

  “Liv. No one calls her Olivia.” Millie’s ultracalm demeanor irked
her. “Relaxed as in medicated or relaxed as in Zen?”

  “Your sister is not medicated. She had the option and she refused, as do many of our patients. Since she is a single parent, it was important to her to not have to rely on medication or worry about its side effects.”

  A tall middle-aged woman with silvery hair entered the room. “Hello, Jade. I’m Dr. Stewart. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She shook her hand before directing her attention to the girls. “And this must be Mackenzie, Hadley and Audra.” She crouched in front of them. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

  “I wish I knew more about you and this place.” Jade swore every emotion known to man coursed through her body. She hadn’t even had time to process Wes’s goodbye, before having to run out the door with the girls. She’d known he was leaving today, she just hadn’t expected it to be so early or so abrupt. Her phone rang in her bag, wrenching her away from this morning’s heartbreak. “I’m sorry. I forgot to mute the ringer on the way in.”

  “That’s fine, just understand this is a phone-free zone,” Dr. Stewart warned.

  “Of course.” Jade silenced her phone, but not before seeing Tomás’s name on the screen. He’d have to wait.

  After a detailed explanation of the treatment center’s protocols and a tour of the ten-acre campus and private grounds, Jade felt more confident her sister had chosen the right place. It was well secured and they even had small cottages with nurseries for the women. By the time they made it back to the visitation room, Jade bore a tinge of remorse for jumping all over Millie earlier.

  “Keep in mind, all visits are monitored. We don’t want you to hold back your feelings, but we do need you to listen to Liv’s feelings. PPD patients have difficulty expressing their emotions, especially when they are overwhelmed. Some exhibit anger while others retreat into themselves. If at any time we believe Liv is struggling, we will step in and guide you both through the process.”

  “Um, there are a few things I need to tell Liv about the father of her children.” Jade had debated having this conversation today during the entire ride there. She relented, rationalizing the more they knew up front, the better they could help her sister. “The thing is, I accidently discovered who the father is and, when Liv had disappeared without a trace, I contacted him in hopes he might know where she went.”

  Dr. Stewart’s eyes widened. “I was under the impression she used an anonymous donor. How did you know where to reach this man?”

  “I thought she used an anonymous donor too. When I found out who it was, I was shocked because not only did I go to school with him, his siblings live in town and they have children the girls’ age. As they get older, they’ll have daily contact with their cousins and not realize it.”

  Dr. Stewart rubbed the back of her neck and stared at the floor in silence while Millie sat perched on the edge of her chair gaping at her.

  Okay. Now what?

  “And m-maybe I should also tell you that Wes—that’s his name—and his family have been helping me with the girls.”

  “Helping you?” Dr. Stewart cleared her throat. “So they’re aware of their relation to the children.”

  “Only Wes is. But he left to go home to Texas today. He moved there in January.” Jade took a deep breath and recounted the past two weeks in detail to Dr. Stewart and Millie. “We had agreed to tell Liv everything, but I didn’t think doing it today was a good idea.”

  “I can’t force you to tell her today, but in my opinion, it’s better for her to hear everything now so she can process her feelings. I’d rather have her upset here, early on in her treatment, instead of down the road where she might suffer a setback, accuse you of keeping things from her, or both.”

  “I wasn’t prepared for this today.” Jade wrung her hands.

  “Like we say here, you can’t prepare for everything.” Dr. Stewart placed a hand over hers to settle them. “Just be open and honest. State the reasons why you contacted Wes, but don’t blame her for the reason. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

  “But she is to blame,” Jade replied sharply. “I’m not talking about her PPD. I’m talking about the way she went about this before she had the embryos implanted. There was a string of bad decisions and it set off a chain reaction. Choosing Wes for starters. What if her kids got sexually involved with one of their cousins years from now? She lied to both Wes and me and said she used anonymous donors. And then the strain of three children at once. She said that was the doctor’s idea...now I seriously wonder. I realize there are other mitigating factors, but I truly believe all of this contributed to her PPD.”

  “And it probably did.”

  “Thank you.” Jade huffed. “I’ll be honest...as much as I love my sister, I’m a little angry. My business in Los Angeles is suffering because I’m not there. If she had come to me, I could have moved her out there temporarily and gotten her the help she needed. I think my sister has been a little selfish.”

  “Millie,” Dr. Stewart said. “Set up a few counseling sessions between Liv and Jade. Let’s say three for now, the first one today.”

  “Do you want it before or after she sees the children?”

  “Ah.” Dr. Stewart pursed her lips and tilted her head from side to side. “After. I want her to be distraction free when she’s with her daughters.” Dr. Stewart returned her attention to Jade. “We’re going to ask Liv to come in, you two can catch up a little, then we’ll ask you to leave for an hour or two. We have a Families Dealing with PPD seminar at eleven o’clock if you’re interested. I think you’ll find it very informative. Families eat together on Sunday, then we’ll regroup in the afternoon and you and Liv will have a session together.”

  “Okay.” Jade mentally ran through her list of things to do. She’d left in the middle of Delta and Garrett’s wedding. She still needed to do teardown, on top of readying the linens and other rented items so they could be returned to their vendors. Never mind all she had to do for her own business.

  Dr. Stewart nodded to Millie. “We’re ready for Liv.”

  Jade ran her hands over her jeans, not knowing what to expect from her sister. Liv appeared in the doorway, dressed casually in a pair of khaki shorts, a white cotton T-shirt and tennis shoes. Her eyes darted from Jade to the girls and back again. While she looked healthy, her cheeks appeared hollower than they had been when Jade had last seen her. The high ponytail only accentuated her weight loss. She didn’t look like someone who’d carried triplets two months ago.

  “It’s good to see you.” Jade rose from the couch and crossed the room to her. “I’ve missed you. And I love you.”

  “I love you more.” The corners of Liv’s mouth lifted slightly at their familiar words. “You must think I’m a terrible person.”

  “Absolutely not.” Jade held her sister’s hands between her own, uncertain if a hug would be too much, too soon. “I think triplets are a bit overwhelming for a single, first-time mom. It’s impossible to do it all alone.”

  “How are you managing?” Liv asked, careful to avoid looking in the girls’ direction.

  “I have a small team helping me.”

  “A team?”

  Jade sucked in her breath. She’d said too much. “Maddie at night and a couple of sitters during the day. Like you had talked about hiring a nanny once you returned from maternity leave. That’s what I’ve done. I need to work, so I have someone there with me almost all the time to help. I can’t do it alone.”

  “I guess that makes me feel a little better.” Liv’s face began to brighten. “Who did you get? I had a tough time finding a qualified nanny to take on triplets.”

  “They’re babysitters. Not nannies. There’s two of them.”

  “Who are they?” Liv’s eyes narrowed slightly. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Why weren’t Dr. Stewart or Millie intervening? “They’re two local teens. Emma Slade uses them and sin
gs their praises.” Jade didn’t see the need to add that Wes had referred them to her.

  “Slade?” Liv dropped her hands and took a step backward. “What did you do?”

  “I uncovered the girls’ paternity while I was trying to figure out where you ran off to.” There, Band-Aid off. It’s out in the open.

  “Oh no.” Liv covered her mouth with her hands. “Do they know?”

  Jade shook her head. “Only Wes does. And he knows I’m their biological mother.” She looked at Dr. Stewart. “Is this okay?”

  The woman nodded. “It’s not how I would have preferred, but it’s okay as long as you both continue to communicate effectively.”

  “Do you have feelings for Wes?” Jade asked.

  “No, of course not.” Liv’s face twisted. “We were just friends.”

  “According to him, you were good friends. How would that have worked if he had stayed in town?”

  “He wasn’t staying in town. He talked about leaving constantly. I knew he was leaving before he did. It just would have been nice if he had said goodbye before taking off. That hurt.”

  “Help me understand something.” Jade mentally rehearsed her words before speaking, not wanting to offend Liv. “Why did you choose a man who comes from Saddle Ridge’s largest family to father your children? His brothers have kids close in age. They’d be sitting with, playing with, and possibly even attracted to a relative and they wouldn’t know it. I’m having a difficult time understanding your rationale.”

  “I planned on using a donor. Even after I asked Wes, I still leaned toward one.”

  “Why did you change your mind?”

  “You and I kept having those conversations about medical history and what if something happened to the girls and they needed a donor for whatever reason. You just said it... Wes has a huge family of possible matches. I wouldn’t have that with an anonymous donor. I took the risk of losing a great friend in exchange for my children’s future health. Especially after watching one of my best friends battle cancer this year. I figured no one would know there was a family connection unless there was a medical crisis. And I would have dealt with it then. It wasn’t until after the babies were born and Belle had Travis that I realized one of the girls might want to date him. Garrett moved to town with his children after I was already pregnant. The idea that of one of the girls might want to date his son one day terrified me. It was too late at that point. I just wanted my children to have options. I don’t regret that part. When Wes and I first discussed this, there weren’t any Slade children in town with the exception of Ivy, and she was seven at the time. The chance of them interacting was slim. Regardless, I regret not being more prepared for the what-ifs.”